The Importance of Community and Connection for Adoptees
By Dr. Tanya Kaanta, Executive Director of The Ties Program
For adoptees, navigating identity and belonging is a lifelong journey—a complex tapestry woven with curiosity, frustration, joy, and at times, grief. Adoption can be an isolating experience, often marked by moments of feeling different or out of place. In a world that doesn’t always recognize or validate these experiences, community is more than just important—it’s essential.
Within the adoptee community, membership is automatic—there’s no need to explain, prove, or justify your existence. This starkly contrasts the questions adoptees often face in other spaces:
“Are they really your family?”
“Do you know your real parents”
“You’re American, but are you really American?”
“You were born in Korea, so you must be Korean, right?”
For many adoptees, these questions highlight a deeper struggle—reconciling multiple definitions of family, identity, and home. At The Ties Program, we see firsthand how community transforms the heritage travel experience, providing adoptees with the space to embrace their stories and connect with others who truly understand. Here, belonging isn’t something that needs to be explained or questioned—it’s something that simply is.
Why Community Matters for Adoptees
Adoption is often described as an individual journey, but healing and self-discovery doesn’t always happen in isolation. While every adoptee’s experience is unique, there is profound power in shared understanding—finding others who don’t just listen but instinctively know what it means to exist between cultures, histories, and identities.
Adoptee communities provide something rare: a space where belonging is not questioned but understood. There is an unspoken connection—a recognition that the complexities of adoption are not something to be "solved" but something to be witnessed and validated. Whether it’s through friendships with other adoptees, online groups, in-person gatherings, or cultural exploration, the power of being surrounded by those who just get it is immeasurable. These connections validate experiences that often feel invisible in everyday life. When adoptees come together, they don’t just share stories—they share understanding, and that kind of connection is transformative. It’s the knowing nod when words fail, the deep conversations that don’t require prefaces, the relief of realizing that others have wrestled with similar emotions. It’s in these spaces that adoptees can simply be.
As one Ties participant shared:
“Being with other adoptees on this trip made me feel less alone. It was powerful to be surrounded by people who just ‘got it.’”
Community & The Power of Being Understood on a Ties Trip
On a heritage trip, adoptees walk alongside one another, witnessing and validating each other's emotions as they unfold. At The Ties Program, community isn’t just something that happens—it’s something we intentionally cultivate. It’s in the moments of reflection, the shared laughter, the collective awe of experiencing cultural wonders, and the spaces we design specifically for adoptees and their loved ones.
Connect & Chat (for adoptees) and Talk Time (for loved ones) provide structured, facilitated discussions where participants can reflect openly—without feeling the need to “save space” for others. These spaces are designed to ensure adoptees and their loved ones can process their experiences with people who truly understand.
Many of our travel staff are adoptees themselves or have deep connections to the adoptee community as parents, partners, siblings, or friends. They don’t just facilitate the journey—they walk it alongside participants, offering insight and support from lived experience.
Our itineraries balance exploration, reflection, and connection, ensuring that adoptees have the space they need to process their emotions. In Guatemala, for example, we start our journey at an afterschool program, dancing, making tortillas, and playing with kids. Later that evening, during Connect & Chat and Talk Time, participants reflect on their experiences, allowing them to distill, integrate, and process what they’ve felt throughout the day.
One traveler described the impact of this shared experience:
"I came on this trip thinking it would be all about finding my roots. But what I actually found was a community of people who understood me in a way I didn’t know I needed."
Another shared:
"The people I met on my Ties trip have become my closest friends. We started as strangers, but now they feel like family."
At The Ties Program, our heritage journeys are designed by and for adoptees. We understand the complexities of adoption and create an environment of deep empathy, validation, and connection. As one participant put it:
"For the first time, I felt like I didn’t have to explain my feelings. Everyone just understood, and that was so freeing."
From cultural exploration to emotional reflection, our programs provide a safe, structured space to navigate identity without judgment or pressure—just support. To be seen, heard, and valued is one of the most profound gifts a heritage journey can offer.
The Ties That Bind: Building Lifelong Relationships
Connections made on a Ties trip often grow into lifelong relationships, with participants offering support as they navigate identity and personal growth. These bonds, which can turn into friendships, mentorships, or even marriage, provide a space to explore heritage and build confidence.
Through social media groups, reunions, webinars, and continued connections, The Ties Program fosters a sense of belonging that extends well beyond travel. No matter where life takes them, adoptees remain part of a broader community—one that truly sees, understands, and supports them.
Join the Ties Community
Community is at the heart of every Ties trip. By fostering spaces of shared understanding, we create experiences that are both transformative and unforgettable.
Ready to explore your roots and discover the power of connection? Join us for a heritage trip and forge lifelong bonds with people who truly understand.