In Loving Memory of Becca Piper

It is with great sadness that we share the news of the passing of Becca Piper, the beloved founder of The Ties Program and co-founder of The Gift of Identity Fund. Becca was not only a visionary leader but also a kind and compassionate person who left a lasting impact on everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. The Ties Program would not be what it is without Becca.

Becca Piper, 65, of Sedona, AZ, passed away on November 21, 2024. She was preceded in death by her beloved son Michael and her parents, Reg and Maydean Nash.

Becca is survived by her devoted husband of nearly 40 years, Ken Piper, her children Joe, Selena, and Larry, her cherished granddaughter Maelyn, and her siblings David and Janet. She also leaves behind extraordinary friends, extended family, and colleagues who enriched her life.

Motherhood was central to Becca’s life. She and Ken lovingly adopted all four of their children, and raising them was one of her greatest joys. Becca often reflected on her life with deep gratitude, treasuring the countless connections she made and the places she explored.

Becca on the first Ties trip to Korea in 1994

Born in Whitewater, Wisconsin, Becca graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison before founding Adoptive Family Travel Heritage Journeys by The Ties Program. For nearly 30 years, she, along with her dear friend Bea Evans and a remarkable team, guided international adoptees and their families on journeys to their birth countries. These experiences helped adoptees explore their heritage, culture, and, at times, reunite with birth families and caregivers.

Becca’s passions included travel, adventure, culture, nature, hiking, yoga, dancing, and her beloved dogs. She found immense peace and joy on the trails, immersed in the beauty of the world around her.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Becca’s memory can be made to the Gift of Identity Fund at www.gift-of-identity.org, supporting international adoptees in reconnecting with their roots.

Her life was a testament to love, adventure, and the power of connection. Becca will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

Becca’s work impacted thousands of people. We invite everyone who traveled with her or were impacted by her work to share their stories in the comments section.

Becca’s most recent Ties trip to Kazakhstan in 2019

Coming Home

by Lian Norris

I knew I was different from others in my community from a young age. At three years old, I’d sit on my mom’s lap and touch her lips and then mine, noticing how different the color and shape were from my own. In elementary school,  I’d ask my parents questions with no simple answers; ‘Why was I given up? Why does no one look like me?” In high school, dating felt impossible – I’d never measure up to the blonde blue eyed girls the boys all crushed on. In college I was excited to join Asian organizations on campus, only to learn how it felt to not feel “Asian enough.” While I kept a smile on my face, the feeling of not belonging followed me from childhood into adulthood.

Then one summer, I decided to do yoga teacher training. I’d already been practicing yoga for a few years prior to training, but like most people expected to get a nice stretch in and an after-class mood boost. In one particular class, we spent the day being guided through deep hip opening poses and practiced teaching to each other for the first time. As we neared the end of the class, I felt something release within me and tears formed. I had NEVER cried on the mat before, and felt almost betrayed – how could a practice that had always been so uplifting be leaving me in tears? When I asked my yoga teacher the same question, she wasn’t surprised. “Yoga can help release emotions,” she said knowingly. With one yoga class, moments and feelings from years of my adoptee experience had all been unearthed on the mat at once. 

Yoga became the place I couldn’t hide anymore from my feelings of sadness, grief, and confusion. In the midst of these feelings, I started to understand how harshly I’d judged myself for never feeling good enough in my social circles or acting ‘Chinese enough’  – Even in yoga itself, as the pressure of being the “best” yoga student in the training consumed me. Yoga allowed me to sit with uncomfortable feelings and notice how they felt in my body; where I was holding tension and pain, and sadness. Sure, there were plenty of times where yoga still left me feeling pure positivity after class, but it had also given me permission to feel and be more than my default happy-go-lucky self. It inspired me to seek out therapy, and talk with others about my struggles with cultural identity. That first time crying on the yoga mat changed me, and in turn changed how I now see the ultimate purpose of yoga. At its core, it brings you back to the feelings and memories within your body, and in turn brings you back to yourself. 

Grateful as I am for the work and processing I’ve done, my adoptee related issues haven’t just gone away as I get older. They’ve simply changed as I’ve changed, sometimes pushing to the forefront of my life, and other times fading in the background. But what’s stayed is my belief through yoga in who I truly am, and coming home to myself. That evolution looks different for all adoptees, who might return to their birth country, connect with others in the community, or even experience a reunion with their birth family. But it can also mean acceptance within ourselves, through a practice as “simple” as yoga. There’s still so much more self-discovery and acceptance to welcome into my life, and to bring to other adoptees. I hope to bring the gift of yoga to their journeys too, helping us all find our way back home together.

Find Your Path with Ties to Wellness – On a Ties to Wellness, we’re creating a space for adoptees to reconnect with themselves and their roots, offering a journey of healing, acceptance, and personal growth. As Lian describes, “Yoga became the place I couldn’t hide anymore from my feelings of sadness, grief, and confusion… It brings you back to the feelings and memories within your body, and in turn, brings you back to yourself.” Whether it’s through exploring a birth country or embracing self-acceptance in new ways, Ties to Wellness supports adoptees in discovering their own path to wholeness and belonging. Join us on this transformative journey.

About Lian: Lian Norris is a transracial adoptee from China. Throughout her life, her experience as an adoptee has shaped her every step of the way and practicing yoga has been a wonderful healing tool for her. Lian utilizes her occupational therapy background and sensory-enhanced trauma informed yoga training to guide adoptees in yoga sessions as another modality to process the ups and downs that can come with being an adoptee, as well as to give support for wherever they are in their adoptee journey. You can find Lian working as an occupational therapist and yoga instructor at Re+Active Physical Therapy & Wellness in Torrance CA, and teaching a yin yoga massage with aromatherapy and alignment-based therapeutic classes at Soul Play Yoga & Fitness studio in Culver City, CA. Lean more on her website here.

New Changes: A Letter from Our Owner on Our Rebrand

Dear Ties Community,

After 30 incredible years of bringing joy and discovery to adoptees and their loved ones through heritage trips, we are embarking on a new chapter. We are rebranding as “Ties”!

Why “Ties”? This name resonates deeply with our cherished community, embodying the strong bonds we’ve forged over the years. It reflects the connections that have been created, the friendships that have blossomed, and the shared experiences that have united us. “Ties” is a name that speaks to the heart of what we do—connecting people to their heritage, culture, and each other.

As we transition to “Ties,” rest assured that our commitment to providing enriching and meaningful experiences remains unwavering. Our mission is still to create unforgettable journeys that celebrate culture, heritage, and connection. We will continue to offer the same high-quality, impactful trips that you have come to expect from us, but now under a name that truly reflects our values and vision.

This rebrand marks the beginning of an exciting new era for us. We are more dedicated than ever to enhancing our programs and expanding our reach, ensuring that even more adoptees and their families can benefit from the transformative power of our heritage trips. We are working hard to develop new initiatives and opportunities that will further support our community and strengthen the ties that bind us all.

Your unwavering support over the years has been the cornerstone of our success. We are deeply grateful for the trust and loyalty you have shown us, and we look forward to continuing this journey together. As “Ties,” we will build on our rich history while embracing new possibilities and adventures.

Join us as we embark on this exciting journey as “Ties.” Together, we will continue to celebrate the beauty of our shared heritage, the richness of our diverse cultures, and the strength of our connections. The ties that bind us are only growing stronger, and we are excited to see where this new chapter will take us.

Thank you for being a part of our story. Here’s to many more years of discovery, connection, and joy with “Ties.”

With heartfelt gratitude,

Tanya Kaanta, Owner and Director of Ties

When Private Travel Is Right

​​For a unique set of reasons and experiences, group heritage travel is most often best for adoptees and those supporting them, but for a subset of adoptees and their loved ones sometimes private or semi-private travel is the right choice. 

What exactly is private and semi-private travel?

If you and your loved ones would like a travel plan created just for your group, that is private travel. This could be anywhere from just the adoptee to an adoptee, parents, siblings, aunt, uncles, and friends (we’ve helped plan for groups of one to fifteen, but we’ve found 5 – 8 people is the sweet spot for these groups). 

If there are two or more adoptees and their loved ones that would like to travel together on a program created exclusively for the those involved, that is semi-private travel. This might be two adoptees that were in the same orphanage in China and have known each other all their lives. Or adoptees that are cousins by adoption and both families desire to travel together. Or a group of adult adoptees from a specific area or region that want an experience just for them. 

When private or semi-private might be the right choice for you:

You set the pace: For a variety of reasons – medical, emotional, and/or logistical – the adoptee or loved ones might need a different pace than what a group setting affords. Sometimes dynamics when private travel might be the best option are:

  • A family member is a wheelchair user, has other health issues, or is a small child (who usually needs more play time than most group trips allow), and you want to make sure that person/those people are able to participate in all the activities and want a slower pace (our group trips do our best to accommodate those with mobility differences but we’re not always able to do so due to challenges presented by a lack of accessibility regulations in many countries outside the U.S).
  • Those traveling in your group have a unique set of experiences, such as a death after an adoption of a sibling of the adoptee traveling that requires more individual and family processing and experience than a group heritage journey provides.
  • You need to travel sooner than our next group trip or the country of origin is not a country where Ties runs regular group trips.
  • You’ve done a Ties Heritage trip to the country of origin in the past and want to do something different this time (although we have many, many families who do our Ties trips over and over again because they love them so much!).
  • There’s a big group of you, say three generations with grandparents, aunts, uncles and young kids.

These are just a few of many reasons why private or semi-private travel might be a good option. As highlighted by Amy Oakley, a parent who traveled privately to Vietnam in 2018, “the flexibility to plan our travel at the best time for our schedule was great and it allowed for a little bit more flexibility where we could plan some activities and days that worked best for our particular interests as a family”. If you are unsure whether a private or semi-private trip is suitable for the adoptee and their loved ones, we encourage you to reach out to our staff. Our experts can provide personalized guidance to help you weigh the possibilities and consider the dynamics and experiences of those traveling with you.

Increased flexibility: This goes hand-in-hand with “you set the pace.” Maybe you like to wander around a little village and explore on your own for days on end. Or you just HAVE to walk into every kimchi shop you see and you don’t want to worry about losing the group when you do that wandering. Or you want to spend several days with your biological family and you can’t do that on our group trips for some reason (Note: Generally speaking we don’t recommend this for a first reconnection visit with birth family, but sometimes it’s a great option for subsequent reconnection visits). All of these are valid reasons why you might need increased flexibility when you travel. All that being said, increased flexibility comes with less support (see less support in-country in “Considerations when choosing private or semi-private travel” below).

More time as a support group: Maybe you want to largely connect or reconnect with loved ones who are traveling with you (Psst…for how to build your support group, check out our blog post “Questions Adoptees Should Ask When Choosing Travel Companions for a Heritage Journey”) and you don’t want to be distracted by other adoptees and their loved ones. Sometimes that’s the best choice, and that’s okay. Reflecting on his family’s 2018 private trip to Vietnam, Jackson Oakley, an adoptee, shared his experience: “We had an outstanding guide who translated for us wherever we went and assisted with transport, from Ho Chi Minh City to Rach Gia. Having that dedicated time with just my family was really special. I experienced a range of emotions with my adoptive family and the extended (biological) family we were able to find. We all have wonderful memories and will always cherish our time together, including our moments with my family in Vietnam and our personal guide.” Rest assured, we are here to support you every step of the way and ensure that your private or semi-private heritage journey is an exceptional and meaningful experience.

Considerations when choosing private or semi-private travel

Less support in-country: Our team staffs group trips with experts in adoption, often adoptees themselves, who understand the unique challenges adoptees and their loved ones face. While our in-country guides can assist with practical matters like finding antidiarrheal medication or locating health clinics, they are not equipped to help with the complex emotions surrounding adoption, identity, birth family, and other topics specific to the adoption experience that often arise during a heritage journey. Amy Oakley, who traveled to Guatemala with her adopted daughters and experienced both private and group trips, reflected on the profound value of community and connection during their group travel. Amy shared, “the community, connection and comfort of being with other families who were also experiencing life as we were was such a wonderful gift to us last summer.”

So what IS included in private and semi-private travel? 

Our process prior to travel is similar to when you travel with a group (although you have a bigger role in planning the itinerary). Just like our group trips, our staff will help you think about the reactions you are most likely to have and feel before, during, and after travel. We’ll help you decide if the time is right to travel, the pros and cons of search and reunion, and many, many more issues as they come up.

Our private and semi-private travel options typically include*:

  • Pre-travel materials, full of helpful information on how to prepare both logistically and emotionally for the journey ahead
  • International airfare assistance (although many book online through airlines and frequent flyer programs, and that’s fine too)
  • In-country airline tickets, rail, boat tickets, and transportation throughout your stay
  • Welcome and transfer to hotel upon arrival and departure
  • Hotel reservations
  • In-country, English speaking guide(s)/translator(s)
  • Sightseeing and meals
  • Permissions and appointments to travel to the adoptees region of birth, orphanage, place of founding, and other important places to the adoptee.
  • Help locating caregivers, directors, and other people of importance.
  • Birth family search and reunion, handled with the extreme care necessary to honor the sensitivities of the situation (Note: the process and ability to search for birth family varies greatly by country).

Cost (could be +/-): The cost of private and semi-private heritage journeys can vary greatly depending on the needs of those traveling, the length of travel, itinerary built, and the quality of in-country transportation, and lodging. Sometimes it costs more. Other times, less than our group trips. With group travel, for example, the cost of transportation and the in-country guide is spread out over the entire group. With private and semi-private travel, the cost of private transportation and guides are divided by a much smaller group of people, which can make it more costly. Activities can also be more costly because group discounts aren’t provided. On the other hand, you can choose to stay for shorter periods of time (say five days instead of the seven to fourteen days our group heritage journeys usually are), or in less expensive hotels. The costs really depend on the trip you want to do.

Have you decided a private or semi-private heritage journey is right for you? Here are the next steps.

To get started, reach out to us and include the following (or what you know so far):

  • When you are hoping to travel
  • Number of adults and children (under 18) traveling and their relationship to each other
  • The duration of the trip
  • Activities/locations on your wishlist 
  • Estimated budget for the trip
  • Preferred accommodations (hotels, short-term rental, hostels)
  • Level of amenities at accommodations (premium, comfort, budget)
  • Occupancy in accommodations (single, double, triple occupancy, for example)
  • Medical or special needs you’d need us to accommodate
  • Any additional information or requests you would like us to know

After receiving your email, we’ll respond, likely with a few questions to better understand your preferences. We’ll also provide you with a registration form that requires a nominal fee to initiate the planning process. 

Once your registration form is in, we will outline a day-by-day schedule, including the things we understand you would like included. At the same time, we may need to ask you for some additional information. Working in partnership with you, we will pass the schedule back and forth, talk on the phone as needed, with the goal of arriving at a schedule to your liking. 

Once we’ve agreed on a loose itinerary, we will send the schedule to our overseas colleagues for pricing, and in turn, send you a summary of your schedule and pricing, along with payment details.

Still unsure if private, semi-private, or group travel is right for you? Reach out to our experts, we’re happy to walk you through the options.

*Items are dependent on the trip you plan with our team